Motivation Is Never Enough… There’s Something Better
I made a goal to go running outside for the first time this year.
That was a few weeks ago.
I felt motivated. Excited even. But then Saturday came and all I wanted to do was sit in bed or watch TV.
“If only I felt more motivated,” I told myself, “then I’d go.”
My WHYs: I’m turning 40 this year and want to prove to myself that I can be in the best shape of my life. I want to show my beautiful wife that I care so much about her that I’m willing to care for myself…while giving her more love in my heart and maybe less love handles on my hips. I want to be able to run around with my kids and finally sign up to play on a soccer team again.
I thought these WHYs were big enough to overcome any HOW.
So why wasn’t I outside running yet?
The answer was simple.
I didn’t really want to. That’s it, and it’s actually totally normal.
Our brains seek pleasure and avoid pain and discomfort. Running isn’t comfortable. Sleeping in a warm bed is. If we’re waiting until we WANT to leave a warm bed to run, we’ll be waiting forever.
But this last week I learned there’s something even stronger, and more needed, than motivation.
To get in a humble and coachable state of mind, I did what all cool, almost-40-year-old men do and threw out my back. Like, “I’ve fallen and can’t get up” threw it out.
After whining about the pain and how I’m officially getting old, I started noticing and appreciating how amazing the human body is. In awe, I realized how wonderful it is that we can move. Earth bodies are incredible!
Gratitude filled my heart each time my wife would gingerly lift my legs to get out of the car, or my son would bring me a glass of water.
Then it hit me; I knew why I wasn’t running yet.
Motivation is fleeting, and it’s twin brother, “willpower”, is like struggling to hold a beach ball underwater. Before long, it comes shooting back up. The force to come up is always eventually stronger than my desire to keep it down.
Just like my desire to seek pleasure or what feels good is usually stronger than my desire to resist feeling pain and discomfort.
But what if I didn’t have to want to run?
What if I didn’t rely on my will-power to get me out the door?
What if instead, we realized that right before we do almost anything worth doing, we probably won’t want to? …and do it anyway!
Instead of waiting to want to, I use that motivation to propel me to commit to being disciplined.
Right then and there, I committed to being disciplined enough to work out every day and made the goal that on Saturday, I’d go for a 5 mile run without stopping.
But this time, I prepared myself that when I didn’t feel like doing it, which I probably wouldn’t in the moment, that I’m the type of person who does it anyway.
Discipline beets motivation.
And like clockwork, when the time came to go, I realized it was completely normal to not want to put my running shoes on, but put them on anyway. It was completely normal to not want to go out the door, but I went out anyway.
Because I’m committed and discipline beats motivation. I focused on choosing to believe thoughts like, “I’m the type of person who is disciplined” and “I can do hard things.” Those beliefs propelled me to feel committed. And while feeling committed, I went for one of the most enjoyable 5-mile runs, all without stopping.
Granted I ran at a snail’s 10-minute pace, but shoot, I still ran. And right now, I’m celebrating progress and not perfection. This was one of the first times I truly enjoyed running…when I wasn’t chasing a ball; I even had several times during the run when I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face. I was so grateful that I once again had a body that could move, and gratitude is way more enjoyable than being powered by guilt.
As I ran, the most wonderful sense of accomplishment filled my soul. What was most interesting was that the motivation actually came AFTER I started running.
I didn’t feel motivated and only then took action. No, I took action while feeling committed, and then was blessed to feel more motivated.
And when I wanted to stop, like after every mile, I simply repeated to myself, “I committed to keep going,” and that’s what I did.
After finishing, I snapped this picture since I didn’t want to forget this experience. I didn’t want to forget how great it felt to have my own back in doing what I said I would do.
Motivation still has its place, and I continue to dream big dreams and come up with big WHYs, but I’m learning to use that motivation to get to a point of feeling committed and disciplined.
When I feel committed and disciplined, there’s nothing I can’t accomplish. And all those negative emotions of fear, discomfort and even pain, those feelings are just part of the path to success.
I’m willing to feel all the feels since that’s the currency to reach my dreams.
Whether it’s starting to get back into shape, writing your book or doing that extra load of laundry, how will you use discipline to reach your next goal today?
Top 3 Productivity Tips If E-mail Is Running Your Day
My wife sat under this tree knitting for over an hour, surrounded by the beautiful mountains of Austria, while I went through 100 e-mails in front of my computer screen…so, who was being more productive?
“Productivity is not about getting more things done…you will never get it all done. Productivity is connecting your time to what matters most.” – Interaworks
Since we’re not always lucky enough to be productive while strolling through the Austrian Alps, here’s how to make your office walls come alive with the sound of productivity, especially if your inbox is dictating how you spend your time.
The average employee…
- receives 200 or more pieces of information each day…or 25 per hour, which means 25 decisions per hour.
- spends 10% of their time getting organized.
- wastes 150 hours a year just looking for things (7% of their time).
- and has unnecessary interruptions consuming 28% of their day.
What if you could decrease interruptions, stay focused, and better prioritize and track commitments to get the right things done with more speed and efficiency?
My top 3 productivity tips:
- Turn off your e-mail notifications.
- Manage your day through your calendar and not by your inbox.
- Use the EDGE Model (Empty – Decide – Group – Execute).
1. Turn off e-mail notifications
Stop getting distracted every time a new e-mail message comes in; e-mail is not the forum for emergencies.
Here’s how to turn it off in Outlook: Go to “File” – select “options” – select “mail” – under “message arrival” uncheck all 4 boxes.
Don’t want to miss that important e-mail from an important person? You can set an alert for your key contacts (your boss, partner…).
Here’s how in Outlook: Click on a prior e-mail from that person – select “Rules” at the top header – select “Create Rule” – click the first box for e-mail from that person – select how you want to be notified under “Do the following”.
2. Manage your day through your calendar and not by your inbox.
Next time you’re at work in front of your computer, what is looking back at you?
My guess is your e-mail inbox…with more e-mail powered actions and info coming in every minute.
There’s a better way.
“The truth about time – You can’t make more of it, but you can make the most of it.” -Laurie Oswald, CEO of InteraWorks
Instead of having your inbox constantly up on your computer screen, set your default to be your calendar view and task list.
See your e-mail when you decide to see it by setting aside specific time in your calendar each day to review and action your inbox.
Then, put all your time commitments in your calendar.
Want time to exercise or start your day with your morning routine, do you want to bring your child to soccer at 5pm, be home for dinner each night, need time to prep for a client meeting next Tuesday, want time set aside to think and ensure you’re looking into the future or working toward your big goals, then PUT IT IN YOUR CALENDAR!
3. Use the EDGE Model (Empty – Decide – Group – Execute).
I first learned about the EDGE model when I attended The Effective Edge training provided by Interaworks.
Our brains have limited brain juice – the energy required to take in information, make decisions and take action. Use your brain for problem-solving rather than a post-it pad for storage.
CTRL+ shift K will make your day. Conduct a daily “Mind Sweep”. Empty out everything in your head and add personal and professional tasks in Outlook by CTRL+ shift K to create a new task.
Mind sweep trigger list: commitments/promises to others, who needs to know about what, what do I need to do today or this week?
Set a due date for the Task, if the task meets the criteria for having a due date. I prefer to use “do” dates and not just “due” dates so the tasks pop up when I plan to take the action. Start each task subject with an action verb and clear description of what you will go do.
If I know a task will take time, I create the task first, then drag and drop the task in my calendar to make time to complete it.
Tip: if you’re been gone on vacation or have many e-mails in your inbox, click “Clean Up” at the top header to remove redundant messages.
You can group your tasks into categories. I especially use categories for all my O3s (one-on-one) topics. When I have an e-mail to discuss or another conversation topic for that person, I classify it under the category of “.O3: [Person’s Name]” so I can address all needed items when I’m speaking with that person. Putting a period (.) at the beginning has it come up at the top of my category list.
If you don’t have your computer in front of you, get the app, “Tasks Tasks” to have all your categories and tasks on your mobile phone.
You can view your tasks by category, or at the beginning of each day I filter by “Overdue” or “Next 7 Days”.
Here are some of my other favorite categories:
- .O3: [Person’s Name] repeated for as many O3 as I have.
- Errands: Places to go in between home and work like “Buy dog food”.
- Home: Honey-do list.
- Someday/Maybe: Parking lot for any ideas or non-urgent tasks that I don’t want to forget
- Waiting For: Delegated items to others that I’m waiting to hear back on. I start my day looking at these items in case I need to follow up.
To Set Up New Categories:
- Click the Categorize button on the Task tab and select the All Categories option.
- To add a new category, click the New button.
- Type the name in the Category Name text box. If desired, click on the Color drop down-box to assign a color to the Category. Choose OK to save the Category
To Categorize a Task:
- Double-click to open the task.
- Click the Categorize button on the Ribbon and select the Category from the drop-down list.
- If there’s a real due date, assign the task a due date or a “do” date.
- Click Save and Close to save your changes to the Task.
Decide (with the 4 D’s):
- Delete: Delete e-mails that are non-actionable and do not need to be kept for future reference. Get it out of your inbox.
- Do It: Quickly take action on emails that you can handle in 2 minutes or less. I live by the 2-minute rule and get through most e-mail during my e-mail dedicated times and usually leave work with nothing in my inbox.
- Delegate: Delegate emails containing actions that can be completed by others. Include what you would like the receiver to do and by when.
- Defer: Send emails to your task list that can wait, will take more than 2 minutes to complete, or will require your full focus. You can do this by dragging the e-mail to the task icon and then updating the subject with a clear description, or search YouTube to set up shortcuts.
Execute (review and do):
Remember, unless you have it in your calendar, it will probably not get done.
In addition to time set aside to go through e-mail or specific tasks that I carve out time to complete, I have time in my calendar every day for my morning ritual, evening ritual, and 30 minutes every Friday for a weekly recharge.
Topics for the morning ritual:
- Immediately drink water
- Go move – exercise/work out (no phone/screens yet)
- Meditate/read something inspirational
Mind Sweep or Thought Download: For the next 15 minutes, write down whatever is in your mind, completely unfiltered
- How am I feeling right now?
- What is going through my mind when unfiltered?
- Any models I want to run?
- What am I excited about today?
- What are my top 3 priorities today?
- What meetings do I have today – mentally envision
- What doubts or concerns do I have about today?
- Who can I help today and what will I do to serve?
- What are my main actions today for both my big goals and normal to-dos…Ctrl shift K?
- How do I want to show up today (tonight, when I look back on today, I want to have felt or done…)
- Top emotions I want to feel today are…
- Top Beliefs I want to think today are…
Topics for the evening ritual/journaling:
- What am I grateful for today?
- What went well that I can celebrate?
- How did I show up compared to my morning intention?
- What one thing do I want to do differently/better next time?
- Record my story of the day/journal
- Read until I’m ready to sleep (no screens 30 or ideally 60 minutes prior)
Topics for the Friday weekly recharge:
- Thought download or mind sweep with Ctrl shift K.
- Look back at the week and celebrate progress, capture areas that weren’t worked.
- Review project and goals – how will I move it forward in the next week.
- Review upcoming O3s and calendar and ensure you’ll be prepared; see conflicts and prioritize.
- Review each category and ensure you clean out each one. Right-click and drag the most important items from your Task List to your calendar to schedule time to complete.
- Identify the top 3 priorities for next week.
“Common knowledge is not always common practice” Brendon Burchard
Commit now to at least one of these tips to decrease interruptions, stay focused, and better prioritize and track commitments to get the right things done with more speed and efficiency.
The #1 Management Discipline: O3s
The #1 most impactful action you can take to improve how you manage people and become the boss top talent wants to work for is to hold consistent, reoccurring one-on-ones or “O3s” with each of your employees.
Whether you call it an O3, one-on-one meeting, 1:1, 1-2-1, 1-on-1, or check-in, we’re talking about conversations where it’s just you as the manager, and one of your employees.
Why Hold O3s?
First, O3s focus employees on the priorities
Your role as a leader is to get results. Results for yourself and results with those you lead, whether that’s your team, your organization, your family, or your community. It’s all about results. People want to collaborate with or follow you because you help them get results, both in terms of the Key Performance Indicators (KPIs), but more importantly, in the person they have to become to achieve that higher result.
As you move from an individual contributor to a manager of people, you are no longer responsible for the results you can solely produce, but are now responsible for THE PEOPLE who are responsible for producing those results.
In this new paradigm, you get results by first, envisioning the future results you want; and second, inspiring and equipping other people to get those results.
Even if you have a defined vision, many leaders aren’t able to lead people to that vision.
How many times have you sat down with a direct report (a direct is someone who reports to you as their manager), and you go over a problem, opportunity or project and leave thinking the expectation was crystal clear, only to find a few weeks or months later that the end deliverable is completely different than what you thought it should be? Or you find they’re spending time and resources on something that doesn’t have sponsorship and will never get launched.
You need a mechanism to ensure they are focused on the right priorities, and that when they get off course, which they will get off course, you can realign them to the vision.
Second, O3s address issues earlier in the process and with more speed
An employee trying to reach your vision is like a rocket reaching a target. Along the way, a rocket is off course most of the time since there is no perfectly straight path. But it will eventually reach the end destination because it’s constantly doing small course corrections. O3s allow you to make course corrections early in the process when issues are still small and manageable, before they blow up into big problems.
One of the main reasons why leaders don’t yet have consistent one-on-ones is because they say they don’t have enough time. I’ll be the first to want to cut down the number and time spent in meetings, but the opposite is true for O3s.
When you have a consistent, reoccurring O3 on both calendars, the number of times an employee drops by for a “quick sec” with items that they could solve themselves will drop, and they’ll come more prepared for the time you do have together. And because you fixed problems earlier in the process, you won’t waste time and resources, all while having faster resolution of issues.
All this saves time. Not having time is the most common concern I get, yet once leaders implement O3s how I teach them, they all come back and say how much time they gained back.
Remember, your job is no longer only doing all the work that needs to get done. That’s what it was when you were an individual contributor. Think of your main work now as the people who are doing that work. You’re a people development factory and your product is people who can do the work. As a leader, success is based on what your team members can do, not what you do. So the time you invest in making sure they know the expectations and are getting your feedback and coaching, the faster they can meet or even exceed where you could have gone alone.
If time is still a concern, you can schedule the O3 during lunch, or to grab a cup of coffee, or while you take a walk.
Third, O3s improve communication
One of the biggest complaints from employees is that they don’t feel like they’re getting enough communication. And when managers hear this, they think that means they need to talk more.
But, employees don’t usually want to hear more from you. No! They want you to listen more to them. O3s give you a forum to consistently and deliberately practice active listening.
Employees will be more willing to give you discretionary effort when they feel listened to and that you care about them.
O3s are the best, and in most instances the only forum where you can have an honest, private conversation about what’s really going on – at work and at home.
Fourth, O3s provides a forum to engage and retain employees
Another main challenge you face as a manager is that people leave. Or if they don’t leave, they disengage and stay.
The Gallup organization reminds us every few years that nearly 70 percent of employees are actively disengaged. A great leader is able to retain and engage great talent.
Global studies reveal that 79 percent of people who quit their jobs cite ‘lack of appreciation’ as their reason for leaving. Recognition is the number one thing employees say their manager could give them to inspire them to produce great work.
Some of the main reasons people leave companies is because they don’t feel appreciated, or believe their manager cares about them or their future enough to challenge and develop them. O3s give you a consistent forum to recognize what they’re doing.
How can an employee believe you really care about them and have a relationship of trust if they don’t regularly speak with you?
How can you know when their thoughts are shifting to wanting to leave if you don’t have a mechanism to understand what they’re thinking?
If not through your O3s, what are you doing, as their manager, to make sure they are engaged, satisfied, and making the best contribution to your organization?
Where do you get as good an opportunity to truly connect with your employees and apply all your other important leadership “soft” yet very hard to do skills like showing courage and vulnerability (thank you, Brene Brown), giving them feedback and coaching, or delegating and developing them?
What do the data say?
Employees who DO have regular O3s with their managers are 3 times more likely to be engaged (Gallup 2014). Only 15% of employees who work for a manager who does not meet with them regularly are engaged.
Employees of managers who DON’T have O3s are 4 times as likely to be disengaged (Harvard Business Review).
My experience from majoring in leadership in both my undergraduate, MBA, and post-graduate studies, to starting and running a company, to being an HR Executive leading leaders in both a Fortune 100 company with 130,000 employees and a smaller $3 Billion company with 7,500 employees shows that no matter how hard you try, it’s nearly impossible to establish the type of relationship that can help you be more effective without doing consistent, scheduled O3s.
How often and how long
Ideally, leaders should schedule weekly reoccurring meetings for at least 30 minutes. However, it could be adjusted based on the size and proficiency level of your team.
If you manage more than 10 direct reports, you could move to bi-weekly O3s, but I don’t recommend you have them any less frequently. The point is that you want a consistent forum that your directs can count on.
With new employees or those with new responsibilities, I’d give them time with you even more frequently and for a longer duration. When I hire a new employee into my team, those first few months are critical and the amount of questions and direction they need is best addressed with more and longer one-on-one time.
Lastly, set reoccurring meetings on both calendars. They need to know the specific date and time when they’ll get time with you next. When the meeting at the appointed time doesn’t work, please don’t just cancel. Instead of canceling, try to reschedule during that same week. You begin to lose trust when you keep canceling, even if you tell them all the good excuses in the world.
5 topics to cover in every O3
I like to start off with some type of personal connection.
This may even feel a little weird at first if you haven’t been building that relationship, but it’s critical. Over time, the hope is you’ll not have to pretend to be interested in them, but will genuinely be interested and curious about learning about them. People are amazing. And when you approach every person by realizing there is something amazing about them, you’ll find it.
It can be very simple like asking about their weekend or finding out what their hobbies are, or something their child is into. Over time, you’ll find more you can talk about and build that connection. This part is something under a minute and other times can be more.
I then transition by simply saying, “what’s on your mind?”
The first several months of O3s, you may need to coach them a little on what you want, and you may even have some awkward cricket moments as they learn how to use that time better and come more prepared. To help them prepare in advance, I have a few key questions that I’ll bring up like, ‘what successes can we celebrate today?’ I start almost every meeting with that question, and will sometimes offer the item myself based on what I’ve seen that I want to recognize. I also let them know it can be about something they did since I may not know all the great things they’re doing and driving.
For my employees that are doers and use up every second we have together, I’ll sometimes tell them to hold off on all the day-to-day items and ask them how they are feeling. We’ll go into that more in the second manager must-do since understanding what you’re thinking and feeling is a skillset you must learn and practice. But many employees haven’t taken the time to understand or don’t feel comfortable sharing it with their manager. I’m letting them know that I realize they are not a robot or a machine, but a human that has feelings and dreams.
Some of my other favorite questions to have them open up is to ask what isn’t working or where are they getting stuck. They should know that this is also the time to make progress on our work together, so I want to hear about what they think I should know about. What is the update on any actions, projects, items I’ve delegated to them. This is their time to also bring up items they want to collaborate with me on or get coaching and feedback from me.
The third topic is that I want to hear their top three priorities for the week.
There is power in constrained focus. By forcing them to tell me their top three I’m ensuring they’ve taken the time to distill down to the most important things, and then I can see if we’re aligned. So many times the top three priorities in their view are not the most important things I want them to focus on. This invites that dialogue. In many cases, I free them from the other less important tasks so they get the more important ones done. Or we have a conversation about capacity or where we have disconnects on our views. Don’t assume they know unless you hear it from their mouth. I have them tell me versus me telling them on purpose.
The fourth agenda item is really used throughout, but this is my catchall to ask what help they need from me.
Many times it’s coaching them through the options or removing barriers they weren’t able to cover on their own. And just because I’m asking them this question doesn’t mean I’ll jump in and solve it all for them. It means that I’ll be aware of the problems they’re seeing and can help them navigate through them.
The last portion is when it switches from them driving the conversation to me sharing what I have for them.
This is my chance to call out anything that I wanted to talk about that wasn’t addressed yet. This is where I do all the other manager must-do’s like give feedback, coaching, delegate and develop. A few times a year, I’ll even schedule additional time during our O3s to talk about their career desires and development. I can even call out the O3s that I want to serve a special purpose like when I want an hour session to review their end of the year performance review or their mid-year review.
If your calendar doesn’t currently have reoccurring one-one-ones with your employees, the FREE guide and 30-minute FREE podcast episode are a must!