Listen to Podcast Ep. #4 – How to solve any problem, and get results – An Introduction to the BEAR Model
If you could have any one thing change in your life right now to make it better, what would it be?
- Have more money?
- Get healthier, lose 50 pounds, get those six pack abs, be able to run that marathon?
- Increase the revenue of your business by 100,000, a million or a billion?
- Get a better relationship with someone you care about?
Now, why is it that you want that? Why do you want the beach body, the money, the better relationships?
We know the reason, even if you don’t yet.
The reason why you do or don’t do anything, or why you want something is because of the way you think it will make you feel.
Every action you take or don’t take is because you want to feel a certain way. What drives us is the desire to feel certain emotions.
We seek what feels good and avoid what feels bad – we avoid feeling pain and discomfort.
If I want to get six pack abs, I’m doing it because of the feeling I believe I’ll feel when I get those abs or the feeling I will feel when I get what those abs get me.
If I don’t take action, let’s say I don’t ask the customer for the sale, or I don’t have the tough performance conversation with my employee, it is because I don’t want to feel a certain feeling.
So if the driver of all action is because you want to feel a certain way, what creates your feelings in the first place?
Why do you feel sad, happy, content, focused, angry, inspired?
Some think it is because of our situations, the circumstances or what we have or don’t have.
- If only I had better employees, then I’d enjoy being a manager.
- If only I had more money, then I would be happy.
- If only I had a better job, then I’d feel fulfilled.
- If only I changed companies, then I would feel less stressed out at work.
- If only my partner was this or that, then I would feel love and connected.
- If only my mom loved me or my dad showed I was worthy of his approval then I would feel valued or that I matter.
The feeling of happiness or whatever feeling you want is always a thing or circumstance away. That’s when my life will start.
However, we’re here to tell you that circumstances do NOT cause your feelings.
So many people think happiness, feelings of love or other emotions they want to feel occur outside of their control and that is simply not true.
So, if our external world and circumstances don’t cause our emotions, or how we feel, what are they caused by?
They are actually caused by…drum roll… the thoughts you choose to believe in your mind!
They are caused by what you choose to believe.
There is a difference between what is going on in your life, and what is going on in your mind. They are different.
- Beliefs in your brain cause feelings, not circumstances.
- Beliefs in your brain cause feelings, not what you have or don’t have.
- Beliefs in your brain cause feelings, not what that other person did or said.
What you choose to think about in regards to your circumstances either makes you feel better or worse, regardless of what is going on in your life.
It’s not what happens to us, but what we choose to think about what happens to us that causes us to feel any emotion, including the really negative ones like suffering and pain.
That may sound like bad news, that your own thoughts are causing any pain you feel, but it is some of the best news you will ever discover…because if YOU are the creator then you can create something that you actually want.
It works on the flip side also: all the happiness, joy, feeling motivated at work or in life, and good feeling emotions are also not caused by your circumstances or the things outside of your control.
Are you starting to feel more empowered, yet? …you will!
No more thinking to yourself, I will feel better or feel happy after I have the right job, the right partner, the right body, the right amount of money.
No more feeling like you have to change your circumstances to feel better. You can feel better even if no circumstance in your life change. Yep, that’s right…we said it. Even if your boss or your employees don’t change!
And the way to uncover your beliefs (what you think), and your emotions (how you feel), is what we call the BEAR model. We call it the BEAR model or C’ing (like seeing) your BEAR because each letter represents a component.
- C stands for Circumstances
- B for Beliefs
- E for Emotions
- A for Actions
- R for Results
It says that the results in your life, whatever they are, are caused by your actions, and your actions are caused by your emotions, how you feel, and how you feel is caused by your beliefs, what you choose to think.
Most all the problems in your life, and all the results you want but are not yet getting, are because of your BEARs – how you think, feel and act.
So if you want different results, you lead and direct your brain to envision the future results you want, then figure out what new beliefs, emotions and actions you need in your new model to get the results you want. In other words, you BEAR UP.
You take any circumstance or situation in your life and walk through the different components in the BEAR model to see, like the letter C, your BEAR (Beliefs, Emotions, Actions and Results).
- Circumstances are facts.
- They can be proven in a court of law.
- They are not good or bad or based on opinion since they are completely neutral. Fact cannot be problems.
- If you’re adding any adjectives, judgement, or subjective value to that fact, then you know it’s no longer a circumstance.
- They are the things in the world that are outside of our control, they just are.
- Circumstances include what other people say or do…because we can’t control it.
- Our past is a circumstance… since there is no way we can go back in time and change it to be anything different; it is outside of your control.
- In order to be a circumstance, it must be true for any person in every case.
- Circumstances is the only part of the BEAR model we cannot control. We choose and control all the other components.
- We sometimes go extreme and either think we control everything or nothing, but that is not the case. We can’t control our circumstances, but we can control everything else…our beliefs, emotions, actions and therefore results.
B is for Beliefs:
- We think thoughts all the time; those thoughts that we believe to be true, we call beliefs.
- And there is a continuum of beliefs. On the far left are fleeting thoughts that consciously or even subconsciously pop into our brain, that we barely attach any belief to, and on the far right are beliefs we hold deep in our core.
- What we decide to think about those circumstances and the stories we tell ourselves. These thoughts and stories form our beliefs.
- We try to keep each belief in each model to one sentence.
- Many of the beliefs or thoughts you have are helpful. They help you function
- Some of our beliefs actually don’t serve us, they can even be harmful. In some cases they can even cause us unnecessary pain, suffering and confusion
- Beliefs have the power to create emotions, actions and eventually results
- The problem is that most of us aren’t even aware of the beliefs in our brain since we don’t pay attention to what we’re thinking.
- Circumstances are neutral until we put meaning behind them and that takes it from facts to beliefs…and our beliefs are choices we choose
E is for Emotions:
- An emotion is a feeling. It’s a vibration in your body
- We like to have it be a simple, one word view of how you FEEL
- I feel sad, I feel happy, content, grateful, frustrated, focused
- There’s your circumstances, what someone did or said, etc., then what you make it mean, and then how you feel about it.
- Think of it this way, the thoughts that you are thinking trigger an emotional fuel, and this fuel is a chemical that is released from your brain and then travels throughout your body. It feels like vibrations throughout your body. That emotion fuel, if let’s say it is anger, anger makes our heart rate speed up, it sometimes makes our throat tighten up, for some it makes them feel physically charged and their arm wants to reach out and punch something. Or when I feel the emotion of embarrassment, the embarrassment fuel that vibrates through our body causes our face to immediately feel a flush of heat and our cheeks turn red.
- When we talk about emotions, it is not the same as sensations in the body. Jody Moore helps us understand the difference by sharing that a sensation starts in the body and then travels to your mind. Things like the sensation of being physically cold. It starts in your body and then tells your brain, hey, I’m cold, do something about this. Or sensations of feeling physical pain – you scrape your knee and your body has pain shoot up to your mind to say, hey, something is wrong here, take care of it. And sometimes we have sensations in our body that we don’t have control over, like chronic pain or physical sickness. Emotions, on the other hand, start in the mind and then travel to the body. They start in the brain in the form of a thought, something you believe. Your brain then releases a chemical, like a fuel that then flows and vibrates throughout your body.
A is for Actions:
- All of our action or inaction comes from our feeling. It is all based from our emotions
- When you feel angry, what you may do will be different than when you are feeling caring or loving
- That’s why I call it emotion fuel since those feelings power us to take action
R is for Results:
- The Results are what we create and therefore have in our lives
- The combination of all our actions or inactions are what produce our results. And they can be considered positive or negative results. Results we like and results we don’t like. But they are all results.
- Every result in our life is perfectly aligned to the beliefs, emotions and actions that led to those results.
- The result does not mean it is the desired end goal of the individual, rather the result I am referring to is the consequence of the actions of the individual.
- And the results are a direct loop that prove out whatever thought you were thinking. That’s a very important piece, the results in this model should connect to the thought, as it is the physical manifestation of the mental belief.
Circumstances are facts, circumstances can be your past, other people or anything else outside of your control. You form beliefs or a sentence in your mind for what those circumstances mean, those beliefs drive your emotions, emotions fuel your action or inaction and the culmination of those actions create results.
The BEAR model shows that your results are caused by your actions which are caused by your emotions, which are caused by your beliefs…it all starts in your mind with what you choose to think.
You always have an unintentional BEAR model that is getting you your current results.
We help you BEAR UP, to up-level how to think, feel and act in a new, intentional way. First understand how your brain works so you can manage it, and then start thinking about managing other people.
Once you BEAR Up and can lead yourself, you can then focus on how you apply the leadership mindsets and skills sets to GO LEAD #BearUp&GoLead.
This is how you get the results you want, to become the deliberate leader you were meant to be.
Are you ready? Come join us so you can BEAR UP and GO LEAD!